It's been awhile

Hey there!! It's been awhile. That's an understatement! Lol. Hope to blog more in the near future.

Christmas

Hi there tonight I saw a news story on a lady that did something nice for a fallen police officer.

During the summer a local motorcycle police officer was in high pursuit on a very busy street during the lunch hour. This was a disaster waiting to happen. A vehicle pulled out after the car that was being chased passed, they unfortunately did not see the local officer. The officer was ran over and prononouced dead on the scene.This officer was very much a large part of our community. He will be missed.

This Lady that lived in that neighborhood took it upon herself and bought one single light candle with the color blue light bulb.She bought enough for the neighborhood and delivered it to everyone with a letter to place the light in the highest and most centered window in the house. This would be in rememberance of past and present fallen officers.

I thought this was touching that a person would care enough to do something so thoughtful. I wonder what motivates a person to do something so selfless. Im impressed and honored that we have people in this world to do such things. Maybe one day I will be inspired and touched by something so much that I do something thoughtful...no matter how small or large.

Goodnight just a thought about a wonderful christmas blessing!

P.S
this is known as the Blue Light Project it started in 1986.

God is Great

I was recently in a car accident. I was T-boned. Have you ever seen one of those cars in a wreck and wondered how could they have possibly jumped the curb? well that was me.my car was on the curb in the grassy nall of one of our fancy hotels in town. How scary is that? It was me and my son driving along when all of a sudden i saw this burgendy car rush two lanes..we met eyes and i slammed on the breaks and swerved so that her car wouldnt impact me so hard. then the next thing in knew was glass everywhere and my son crying and i was so pissed that she tried to dart across traffic.I went to the emergency room and we stayed there for what seemed forever...we got there about 700 in the evening and left at 200 in the morning. It was a busy night in the ER that night.(just my luck) the care was great but all along i was thinking did this really happen to me? My son, by the grace of god was ok..just a little frightened by the trauma of our car jumping the curb and hearing a loud hiss coming from what seemed to be the engine..i dont know what it was that was really hissing but i was thinking the worse...i thought the car was going to blow up. well so now i am here waiting until monday to hear back for the appraisal on how much the car is damaged and if it can even be repaired. if its totaled i could get a newer car..good yes. Bad too. My car wouldve been paid off in December! But I have given a new car a little attention. but not too much. I am however greatful that my son and i are alive. God craddled us in his hands that day. For that I am truly thankful. so just thought that i would type and say the God is Great.
Well goodnight good people. kiss the ones you love and forgive the ones you hate.

It finally happened!

I have waited almost two years to get a laptop. Im not sure what the hold up was exactly but I am so glad that it has happened. Now I can post something when I want to and not have to log on to our slow ass PC. Not to offend the old PC, but seriously..it takes about 5 mins to log on. But now that I have finally caught up with the rest of society, I feel human. LOL. Now if I could only fix itunes to go faster....hmmm. Im trying to update my iphone. but im going on an hour...of just back up. This is bugging the hell out of me.woooshaw...wooshaw. Okay i feel better.Time to do my " wifely" duty...I have to clean the house and do some laundry. YUK! Hope you guys have a great Labor day!

Keraunophobia: The fear of....

I live in Texas and I still haven't got used to the damn heat! or the crazy weather. One day its hot and the other day its raining... oh ya and you cant forget the tornado warnings...

When I was younger my mother was terrified of the storms and all its glory..I remember when it got really bad she would put us all in the closet and she would flinch at all the loud booms of the thunder. Naturally I would adopt her fear of the storms.. I would go as far as covering up all the mirrors in the house and close the blinds the lighting would avoid coming into the house..I am not even sure that lightning is even attracted to mirrors. I am sure I heard that growing up from someone else who has the fear of storms.

Keraunophobia: The fear of thunderstorms. Just in case you were wondering the proper name of that fear.I was...so I quickly opened up a tab to check it. hehehe.

As an adult I became more fearful of thunderstorms. Really. I was so scared that at one point my sisters husband (ex now) would come get me and my son from my house a few houses down the block. In the middle of the night..in the heat of hail! The sky was opening up and literally shitting on the earth. This would be in the middle of the night people..! I'm talking 300 in the morning. The minute I heard thunder I would call my sister and ask her in my whiny voice to have him pick me up.I always had a bag packed with my baby stuff,pillows, toothbrush, and clothes for the next day. That poor guy would get in his car pick me and my baby up and load all of my bags and rescue me from my fear. Even though he is and asshole now, I will forever be thankful for him never complaining to pick me up.

Then I got older and got remarried to a man who is crazy for storms..always watching the clouds and reading the sky. We live next to an air base and when the winds are higher than 60mph the sirens go off..this scared me to no end...but I had no where to run. So during every storm he would get me to look outside and say"...relax, its nothing, baby.." then laugh at me cause he thought it was stupid to be scared. My poor son, he inherited that fear from me. Who wants to have a grown man be afraid of storms? When he grows up I mean. So one time it stormed really badly while my husband was out. Here we were all alone with our fear. My stomach was getting upset and I knew I had to be tough so that the boy wouldn't throw up, like he always does when it rains.. There we were.
I repeated the words that my husband told me over and over until I started to believe it. It took about a year of me pretending it was ok. until I one night slept thru a thunderstorm. This was such an accomplishment. Now my son very rarely gets scared of the storms. I needed to be strong for him so when he grows up he can me a man for his family. Maybe the circle will break with him. The fear of thunderstorms is silly. But it did effect me for so many years, I am so glad that I don't have that anymore.(well maybe a little)

As a matter of fact, when I started to write this blog it was a nice 95 degrees, sunny and calm breeze. and now almost an hour later its 30mph winds, cloudy and 80 degrees. No kidding it is. Crazy weather. Texas weather changes, hot the cold, rain then snow. SHisssh! I cant keep up with it.

how to bake a penis cake..no really.

So I found myself in a dilemma I joined up with a company that sells intimate products thru the miracles of Parties. I have been with this company for 2 months and have not held a party. But I was informed that in order to become active I needed to hold a party with in the sixty days of my sign up. When I signed up I wasn't even sure why I wanted to do that. But that brings me to today. My Friday. My wonderful peaceful Friday. Well usually. But I actually booked a party tonight. I am SO scared and I don't even know why. The hostess would like to have a penis cake. Yes a penis cake. Now I have baked my fair share of cakes, but a penis cake? I was intrigued, after all baking is my passion. So with that in mind, I accepted the challenge. So the following steps are for you brave souls who wish to bake your very own Penis cake. Enjoy.

Step 1: Find a friend who will accompany you to your friendly local porn store. These stores are somewhat creepy. At least the one I went to was creepy. Enter the establishment with your guard up and a serious face, as their will be people from your community there. The unwritten rule is "I didn't see you, and you didn't see me" then it will forever be awkward to be emotionally tide to your local what have you...postman, walmart cashier...whomever it will be that you "bumped" into. Then proceed to get reamed up the ass for a cheesy aluminum penis cake pan.(you could use lube its in next to the enormous 18" black plastic cock.)

Step 2:Bring home the little treasure that you over paid for. Since they generously came packaged in two, I will make a "white" one and a "black" one.

Grocery List:

Classic white box cake (bake as directed in floured pan)
Triple chocolate box cake (bake as directed in floured pan)
chocolate sprinkles ( pubic hair)
1-large can of chocolate frosting
1-large can of classic white frosting
small frosting tip
frosting bag
white marshmallow frosting bag or (white frosting)
cake boards or cardboard bottom box foiled to hold cakes X2
tape used for holding foil on the card board
wide foil
frosting spatula
Ziploc bag
and the hard to find ivory food coloring, which I will save you some time hunting for it and tell you where I found it: Micheals..$1.99
....about 4 hours, and patience.Oh yea and space in the fridge for the cakes to quickly cool.

Step 3: take the cardboard and foil it, tape the bottom to the cardboard

Step 4: While the cake are cooling(in the fridge). Sit down and wonder why you took on this project, and try to refocus on the bigger picture. You want to see if you could make a penis cake?! Remember? Deep breath. Invert the cakes onto your freshly foiled cardboard. Now frost the penis cakes according to the color you desire.After putting the frosting on the penis. You want to put some frosting in a Ziploc bag with the tip first. This will help you add details to the shaft of the penis(squiggly lines, on the shaft only) Then take the chocolate sprinkles and sprinkle the balls with them. The more sprinkles you have on the balls the less "shaven" you penis will look.

Step 5: You are done!!! you have successfully made a penis cake. Now take pictures of the cake and show off to your less offended friends....

Hope that this post has helped you lost souls trying to make a wonderful cake for that naughty occasion. If you read this post PLEASE leave a comment. Thank you.

Salon dilemma....

I'm sitting here vulnerable. I realized something today.

" I am not my hair...." this statement is a strong one,that quite frankly is used by cancer striken women. This quote is a powerful one. And I, at one point thought that I could honestly be one person to use this quote. But I AM my hair.
I am a chubby, some would say fat, middle aged woman who until this day never knew how much my hair has played a part in my sexuality, and my self esteem.
For the last week I've been brave enough to leave my hair in it's natural condition... Curly. I'm not talking cute little curls either I'm talking straight up wow I had no idea your hair was that kinky curly! Ya I said it.., kinky. Why try to play? It is with out a doubt unmanageable curls. I am afterall Hispanic, and not the lucky kind to get the "good" hair.So I have been feeling kinda ugly, down about myself, particularly thinking why would any male find this attractive. Let alone my husband who sees the "behind the scences" action.
So there was a point to all this.. Oh ya. Uhm so I was off today and decided that today I would like to go to the hair salon and have them do all the work of straighting my hair...
1. Get the strength and courage to go
2. Although $15 bucks is a great price do I really want to pay it?
3. Do I feel like having someone touch my hair? All a while they are thinking what the hell?! (i'm convinced that I have the worst hair in the world
4. 3 hrs in the salon?! Really?
And finally.. Do I feel like apologizing for what my friend or enemy mother nature "blessed" me with?

So I say yes.... Yes I do feel like going so I did. So I spend a few hours there getting it conditioned and straightened. After I leave there I feel beautiful like a tv ad for hair conditioner. My step has an extra pep to it. I feel on top of the world. I sit in my car a renewed women. To verify my feeling I pull down the visor and looked in the mirror and tosseled my hair and smile an affirming smile. And think: B-E-A-utiful! Yes now I can go on living..
When my husband saw me he said. "I can't kiss you.." I said why? Then he said "cause you're to beautiful!"
To confirm this, a man at the gas station was starring at me when I was pulling up to the pump while he was going in the gas station store and accidently hit himself with the door. Hehe. Confirmation indeed.
So yes I AM my hair. It's what makes me feel beautiful.









- Posted using Some of my brain cells...

My savior... My saving grace...

There's a person in my life that had been there for me even when I pushed everyone away.this person I've idolized, wanted to be, hated, was jealous of. This person makes me think about how I could be better, and helps me value the person I am becoming. When I was in my teenage years I was a horribly angry, rebelious person. If you said the sky was blue I argued it was red.you tell me I can't do something I damn well did it, be home at 900... Huh well see if I even come home. My parents were convinced that I was possesed. To tell you the truth I was beginning to think that my self. (pssst don't tell my family I admitted to that... Lol)

But this person believed in me. She remembered me when I was " normal" not " possesed". When I see her I see a strong person. She fights to protect her morals, her values, and her faith. She is a good mother. She doesn't see how great she is, you are. When I loose faith, loose my path, loose my way, she is there to pull me back toward the right way. She knows that I will take what she says to heart... It may take a bit cause i'm a stubborn mule.

I remember coming home one day after a trying day, I was almost convinced no one cared enough to see why i was angry.. Hell I didn't know why I was so angry.. No one wanted to talk to me anymore because I was so mean, rude, and inconsiderate. I wanted to change but my pride got in the way 100% of the time. She knew she could push thru or atleast try one more thing.... You know the story... A bookmark with a psalms saying on it. And a book that was some what related to god. Well it made me cry... And that was my breaking point... That day was the start of my new beginning.Thank you.
This person is my sister. My big sister. The person that I idolized, wanted to be, hated, was jealous of.. This person that had so many of the qualities I wish I could have... Maybe the older I get I will. I love you.

Thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for sheltering me when I was scared, thank you for the shoulder I cried on, and thanks for guiding me by example.






- Posted using Some of my brain cells...

Biggest loser

Hi I was thinking his morning, about the biggest loser. I am so consumed by this show! I watch every season! And it almost pushes me to do the work.., but then I give up. I wish that I had a Jillian to be mean and motivating to me. It's hard doing that for yourself. It's hard breaking out of the mold you've created for yourself. I'm he chubby girl that likes to bake, and eat "goodies" I eat so much goodies it's surprising that I don't smell sweet. Lol
I am proud of the former fatties that have lost weight. And are starting their new journey in a world that never accepted them before. They are finally in that cool group of people. Fatties spend a lifetime trying to fit in, fit into clothes, fit into social groups, fit into a life that we know could be better.
Food is an addiction... Food is comforting, nonjudgemental, filling, it fills all your flaws it helps you thru the hard times.. Food is evil. The good food is good too. But there's nothing like a cup of vanilla icecream or a piece of warm chocolate cake or fresh Otis spunkmeyer cookies... Why lie? I'm addicted to these wondrous goodies. And I dont want to be...Anymore. But,


I can hear the food calling right now.... Ugh.

- Posted using Some of my brain cells...

Hi there it's been awhile

Hey it's been awhile since I've blogged anything. My nephew took back his laptop so I've been less than excited to type a blog using the very small keyboard the iPhone has to offer. But here I am typing and cursing the keys! Lol.
This years resolutions:
1. DO NOT CUT MY HAIR
Every summer it's a thousand degrees and I find myself in the heat of the day crazily standing in front of the mirror with barber scissors, and a primal look in my eyes... I go crazy and cut my hair to a short uneven bob. Yes and as I am cutting, my head feels cooler, and immediatly the weight of my hair is gone. Hair is all over the sink,my shirt, the floor... Like a bloody crime scene. Then I come out of the trance.. And realize that when my husband comes home he will ask me, and I quote: " what the hell happened with your hair?..."
So this year I vow not to give in to the hair demon.
2. Keep the house clean
After a long day at work, I do not want to come home to a dirty house, a cluttered home. So I vow to do my part everyday to pick up today, and not leave it for tomorrow... Cause it'll never get done until Saturday when i desperatly want to do nothing.
3. Make no excuses.
I am who I am. I do what I feel is right. And if those choices are wrong then it was on me.

So those are the three resolutions I have for the year 2010. I leave you with a quote I read in a shell gas station marquee: "trying is the first step to failure"



- Posted using Some of my brain cells...

I'm tired

Today was nice. We went to our other house, my husband was in good humor. And my son and nephew played. I watched some good mystery shows, and even caught some if that old show "V" how weird that our generation is taking old shows/ movies ect. From older generations and the younger generations are thinking it's their ideas... Whatever. I wonder if this new show "V" will have any of the old stuff in it? Well it was quiet out in the country, but I'm ready to head back to the city. Until next weekend country, until next weekend.... Goodnight.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Where's my airbag?!

Hi. This blog is being written in the car... So please excuse any weird typing errors.

I feel sometimes that i say things that unintentionally hurt others... I don't mean to, but I'm just a blunt person i wish that everyone would just understand that, my life is getting complicated. I wish it could be easy like it once was.. The older a person gets though the harder it becomes.

"like hitting a brick wall" that was used to describe my actions.and that kinda didn't feel good to hear. I hope I don't sounds like I'm selfish but I am one person trying to play more than one role. I would like to be friends with someone who undertands that I'm complicated. And that I don't always have the answers to what I'm feeling or how I act.

My sister always says that I'm a walking oxymoran... And it's true. I say things that contradict what I mean. And do things that contradict what I say.

My brain is hurting trying to analyze my true feelings about things....I'm tired. That's all I got.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

a random thought.....

Okay so today is a great day :

I am remembering the past. the past has been good. it has molded me into the complex person that i am. but i am not complaining, i love me. i am nice, funny, unconventional, and mysterious.

Some people say that i am a pretty chubby girl. i like to say that i am "pleasantly plump". Now I'm not saying that i wouldn't be happy to be thinner, I'm just saying that nothing is wrong with the way i look. i like the way i am. My sister always says that i am "Queen Latifah" fat not "Roseanne Barr"fat. i don't feel fat when i look in mirror...i feel like a "normal" sized girl. by the way being Queen Latifah fat is a good thing she takes pride in her curves and she is beautiful. Roseanne is a hopeless fat, a fat that just gave up looking nice and taking pride in the way she looks....

I don't know why I feel like I had to type all that but I did.

highway to heaven

wow this is a great picture. i love the texas skies! i am obessed with how beautiful the sky is here. i was driving and had to get the iphone out and snap a shot. news casters and media always say that texas has amazing skies and they are right. this picture reminds me that we are all small and are waiting to be in a better place. i like to call this picture highway to heaven.... haahaha. well enjoy. i hope to post more sky pictures as i post.

just plain irritated....

hello,

this blog is addressed to those who have no idea who i am and what i am about:

First:
I am not into material things!
i do not need to have "stuff". this statement means that i am NOT nor will i ever be a
"gold digger" nor do i "play" people. people do what they want for others to make themselves feel better. to enjoy the other persons enjoyment. i have never been comfortable receiving gifts from anyone. i like getting gifts on my birthday, Christmas and my anniversary...but out of the ordinary gifts are not necessary, but on occasion people get you stuff, you try to be polite and tell them that you really don't need it, or say no, its okay you don't need to get me that...i don't need it...but this person insists on getting it for you. what do you do then? well you piss them off or just buckle and receive the nice gesture. well i did that this last month, and as much i shouldn't have taken the gifts i did...and now I'm getting burnt for that. I'm sorry i will never do that again.

Second:
i love the person i am with. he is great. even if you may not think he is great for me. This is my life and i am choosing to live it the way i want. you may think I'm stubborn, stupid or whatever...but its MY life. I'm sorry that you may not agree on its path, but everyone learns from their own life lessons. all i want is to live a uncomplicated life. i want friends, family, and a career. i want to earn my keep and work for whats mine.

Third:
I am very complex person. my feelings change everyday. i don't like to make promises, nor do i like to expect promises from others, they always get broken. life isn't about how can you keep a promise....its how you do. my husband always says that talk is cheap. i never really understood that until recently.
i know there are three constants though: my love for my husband, and my love for my son and family. other than that i am human. i am trying to find my niche in this crazy place called earth. i know that sounds stupid but i really believe that.
i guess i want to say is that most people keep what they are truly feeling, all bottled up. i like to let the other person know what I'm feeling that very moment, let them know what i am thinking.

Last but not least:
i don't like to be smothered. i don't like being someones everything...that is a lot of responsibility. i already have that spot filled, my son is my everything, and I'm his everything. i don't need any more applicants. I'm sorry if that is harsh but i don't. i am content in my world. and that is more than i could ask for. i am not greedy. i am content. believe me.

Oh ya if you love someone even if they make your life suck you should be with them, cause maybe that is what god has in plan for you.(sorry you non-god lovers. no judgement here) But if you decided to not be with this person then, get up off the floor dust yourself off, embrace your closest buddy..put your best foot forward and don't look back. move forward and be confident in your decision. move on.. start over, take charge and find someone who is available, emotionally, physically, and mentally, legally. This person naturally has to be somewhat better than the last. this process will not be easy and may take awhile, but get it together and look toward the future. you can not truly love someone else unless you love yourself. that statement sounds like a crock of shit, but its true.

i am not ashamed to say that i don't know everything, i am still learning about this life that I'm living, but I'm living it.

I'm sorry if i hurt any of you readers feelings. but I'm sure most of you guys feel the same.

A cute halloween pumpkin story

hi happy fall~

Here is a cute fall story enjoy:

The other day my sister and i picked up her daughter, my niece, she is in the kindergarten. and well you know they teach them some stupid annoying songs, you know the learning songs...the fun songs, and the flat out annoying ones.

there she was climbing happily into her car seat..i happily say to her hi mama how are you? and she kindly and shyly said gooood. i turn around and think wow what a great, cute, quiet little girl. as i readjust in my seat she begins:

a little hum, a little ho, then the words: pumpkin, pumpkin....then the words get mumbled...i think i heard her say...pumpkin pumpkin nice and round....flat and on the ground...these words seemed to get more intense and more loud...ha ha i thought to myself...this song will end...WRONG! she is getting irritated because none of us are acknowledging her singing genius, so again the lyrics go like a broken record.. i take this for a min, then i look over at my sister as to motion to her that this annoying singing can not really be happening, my sister is laughing as inconspicuous as she can, she is amused that i am partaking in a process that happens every afternoon. the madness of a kindergarten girl. wow, this is not real i say to her, really?! she is laughing hysterically and her son is patiently sitting in the back next to this singing monster...he looks at me like yes this is real....

Enjoy and have a great Fall.

just rambling on...my love

i fully intended to write something fun, and light-hearted, but i am fresh out of fun and light-hearted. a friend of the family is in trouble, and i feel sad for this friend. this friend is going to seek help, and i am glad. this friend needs this help.good luck on you journey to better mental health.

i have such a headache. my head is pounding and my jaws are hurting from clenching my teeth. i vacuumed today and did the dishes.

it seems as though my son is very much a "TWEEN" he has become so unruly, that maybe a strong word, maybe a bit defiant, uhm mouthy. but every once in a while i can see a hint of the sweet little boy who used to love sitting on me and looking at me like i was the only person who could pacify him, and love him.

right now i am where i belong. i am in bed typing my blog next to my husband.he is watching the scorpion king 2. this movie is better than i thought. but the best part is when my husband takes a break from the movie and glances at me with a look of wonder and love. corny i know. but he is my everything. i love this man, he is the one i see growing old with. the one i want babies with. this man i love. i could only hope and pray that he loves me as much as i love him. one day i hope he tells me really what is in his heart for me. i know that he cares for me,i know he loves me enough to tattoo my name on his chest over his heart. all i know is that when i look into his eyes, my heart melts and skips a beat, my knees get weak, and my hands start to sweat. this man...this man. he is mine. and i am forever his.

okay this is goodnight. goodnight to all you readers.

Wow shopping!

Today was good.
I did one of my favorite things: SHOPPING!!!!! i love the feeling of brand new clothes on my skin, looking at all the clothes they way they were intended to be, no wrinkles, new smell...who could resist that?!

When i go shopping i pretend to be someone else. I am a rich woman who knows no price to her wants, I can buy anything i want with out looking at how much things are....( i know better i have to watch my budget) i go in the store and look across the room at the endless ocean of fashion and accessories. shopping would probably be more exciting if i were the ideal size;
but nevertheless, i like going to Lane Bryant.This store is a store tailored to women who are bigger than the average size. Today i tried on a few clothing items, couple of tops, and unfortunately a few pairs of jeans. The sizing system has gone wonky...i thought i was X size but i turned out to be another size and my jeans were tight! ugh!

I ended up getting a cool shirt that had a collar that adjusted with a zipper, and a comfy brown sweater...my friend bought me these...that was nice.Thanks friend!

the weather was cool, and drizzly. i like this weather it was smelling of November..thanksgiving. We took my son to the pumpkin patch, this place we went to was The Disability Resource Institute..this place houses and employs the mentally afflicted. The down syndrome, the physically damaged...and so on and so forth....this place is cool.They give the handicap an opportunity to live and work like the rest of us with out any discrimination. they even manufacture hot salsa, and its good. the people of this institute are sweet and they always come up to us and try to ask a million questions..the last time i went a little guy name Andy came and helped. He was playing with my son. He wanted to be in all the pictures i took he would say, "ok cheese, then look at my son and say ok you have to say cheese before your mom takes the picture!" my son thought he was cute. I used to work on Andy's teeth. He never wanted anyone else in his mouth...he would be so proud of his progress in getting his teeth to be pearly white when he came out to see me. I was proud of him, and his parents said that they had never seen him so accepting of someone touching him. what a special guy. god bless him. i didn't see him this year, wonder what he is doing, and how he is doing.

well another day almost done...right now i am sitting here with a full belly, i ate the best chicken ever( i made it) . I think that i could just go to sleep right now. I'm tired and my knee is achy. i am getting old... well i am altleast well on my way to getting old.... an ache here and an ache there... it starts to add up. One minute your up and one minute your down....right now I'm feeling...hmmmm i don't know....BLAH.

The most beautiful girl, and money matters ..

well here i am again on the blog. yesterday my son looked at me and said " mom, you are the most beautiful girl i know." that made me feel like i was the most beautiful woman in the world . when your ten year boy takes the time to tell you that, that is a big moment. that's when you know that you are doing something right. i was so proud of him at that very moment.

so today i feel so sad for someone- my hands are tied. i can not help her. i wish i had the means to. sometimes i feel like i need to help everyone, and when i can not do so, i feel almost to blame for the mistakes that they made. what am i supposed to do? how am i not to take her problems on as mine? she is family. last night i lost sleep about it...i hate that.

on another random note: have you ever heard of your economic destiny? well let me tell you what that is:

Economic Destiny: your financial standing in the world, you are born into poverty or wealth. Very few people deviate from the assigned group.

I think i am in the poverty group, we are not too far into poverty, but our finances limit the material possession and events that we can own and do. There are different levels in the poverty group, low, mid, top. we are on the top. Me and my husband work we have "careers" we are paid pretty good hourly. but it still seem that we still do not have enough money. i think anymore a family needs to have three incomes plus to survive. (maybe polygamist are onto something)

so when you are in the poverty group your children maybe at a higher risk of staying in the group they were born into. our son may not be in a higher group (i can only hope that he does better than us) this is a vicious circle.

ok so to those who came from poverty and rose up thru the economic groups, must have really been in the poverty environment so deep that they make it a point in life where they want to get out...out of having nothing. so they work, work and work hard and save all their earnings. i take my hat off to those people. sorry my generation and generations to come do not have this strict and disciplined attitude.

for the wealthy group well for some odd reason wealth only breeds wealth. somehow these people do not have an understanding of how great they have it...no worries financially. so their children will have everything they could ever want, some would argue that this lifestyle breeds no character and moral and/or sense of responsibility for money the greenback, the Benjamin's.

others will argues that the poverty strictned, have a better appreciation for family and the money that comes in.

I think i am wealthy in life, i have family that loves me unconditionally, and a husband that loves me and keeps me on my toes. my son who inspires me to stay on the right path and friends who support me. oh and my parents who are still there to give me the advice that i sometimes do not want to hear,but need to they will do anything for me. even if they can be sometimes overbearing i know that the things they say and do are because they love ME. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

uhm i really don't have a point, I'm just rambling.

poverty sucks, wealth isn't great, so what is?

having people who care for you, and will be there even when times are fun.